John Wood

The name is legendary at Landmark College. This man serves on campus as an honorable RD, coach, and father. He's been with Landmark College for close to its 24 year history.

As a new student at Landmark College, you will grow familiar with John Wood in the first few brief days you spend on college. As a Resident Dean, he is responsible for acclimating you to the college experience. Of course, Landmark College is far from your usual college experience.

A new student’s first exposure to Mr. Wood is his freshman orientation talk. This is where you learn of his intimidation tactics. Being only four eleven, he's developed a Napoleon complex that both intimidates and frightens anyone for their first impression. He uses his foul mouth and crude metaphors to make you feel inexperienced about life. "You’re a college student now", he says "if you haven't heard the word fuck yet, you've been living under a rock. You can leave now." This is the beginning of freshman orientation. With a thick wad of tobacco under his lip, he goes into a routine about sex or 'fucking', doing drugs, drinking, hygiene and red squirrels (stupid rant about not feeding the fake 'red squirrels').

The best part about this whole orientation is hearing about his drinking experiences. He explains how his binge drinking led to naked debauchery and humiliation, causing him to be expelled from five colleges. He is a shining example of what not to do. In fact, he has no license, no college degree, and no home. He is quite the role model for learning disabled students.

He actually lives on campus with his family of three. They live in a dorm with other students, and raise their children there. His wife is also a Resident Dean.

His diminished intelligence and poor communication skills often cause him to get very angry, very often. Do NOT by any means cross this man. When you engage into conversation with the man, ALWAYS be willing to accept that you are wrong. Cause you are.

Mr. Wood is also the coach of just about every sport on Landmark College. His coaching experience is limited to the years picking up various jobs at Landmark College for extra pay. He coaches baseball, basketball, and various intramural sports.

Mr. Wood is also a native to Putney, VT where Landmark College is located. He is loathed in the town and, for his safety, chooses not to leave campus too often. When he does, his wife acts as his chauffeur and drives around at his bidding.

All in all, this man is everything you do not want in a Resident Dean.